An exploration of key mirror moments that have helped shape my craft. There’s a moment in almost every workshop, coaching session, or curriculum sprint where the mirror appears. Sometimes it sneaks up on me, and other times I see it coming from a mile away. In these moments I realize I’m not the only one guiding. In fact, I’m being guided by my client! Consulting, at its best, is a two-way reflection which leaves me a little more self-aware after each engagement. Becoming aware of when the client is holding up a mirror has helped me make vital improvements to my client approach. Here are three mirror moments that have been instrumental to me: I was meeting with a group of directors in a midsize company when I decided to ask them a question that elicited an unusual response. “What do you think your team says about you when you’re not in the room?” Given most people in positions of leadership are used to giving quick answers, the unusual response I received was complete silence for a full 18 seconds. During that pause, instead of witnessing exasperation or perplexed facial expressions, I saw a collective recalibration. Each of their body languages told me a story about them. It told me that they cared about the views of their team when they are not in the room, which was the first thing I pointed out after ending the prolonged silence. It was during that silent moment that I realized something important about myself. I tend to rush through the silence when it can actually be a gold mine for progress. I like to fill space with insights, humor, or metaphors to build the momentum of the room. But sometimes, the most powerful move to make is to wait. After this experience, I started building intentional pauses into my sessions. I don’t do this to cause a feeling of dead air or discomfort, but instead to create a psychologically safe space for processing and digesting. What I’ve noticed since employing this method is that meaningful transformation doesn’t always need a soundtrack. It can quite often be found in silence. There was a stretch last year when I was deeply entrenched in an “optimize everything” mindset. Every client engagement, research study, or teaching session felt like a sprint toward the finish line. I was incredibly efficient, strategic, and seamlessly managing many tasks at one time. It was one day during a 1:1 session with a client when they were telling me about an issue they were currently having, but I thought to myself, “I thought we had already addressed this.” In my mind, I had checked that issue off our list and was pressing full steam ahead to other problems for us to solve. The client lovingly said to me, “I feel like I am still focused on this issue while you’re solving problems that don’t exist yet.” Oof. It took that sobering comment to slow me down and refocus upon the current issue at hand. Afterwards, I conducted a structured self-reflection that evening. I realized I was projecting my own sense of urgency- my own hunger for resolution- onto someone else’s delicate and complex process. I wasn’t actively listening (which is a skill I often teach clients about. Yikes!). Instead of actively listening, I was actively anticipating. What I learned is that while anticipation can be a gift, the old adage “too much of a good thing” applies to this skill. Sometimes, actively anticipating when we should be grounded in the moment can create a barrier between us and the people we are trying to help! Since that situation, I have been cognizant about practicing presence instead of projection. I ask fewer leading questions and more open-ended questions. I let discomfort linger (leveraging the power of the pause). I trust that not every knot needs to be untangled in the first 45 minutes of discovery. The biggest takeaway for me is when you slow down and attend to the present moment with someone else, regardless of which problems may be ahead, that is when the most powerful breakthroughs happen. I have taken the Values in Action (VIA) Values Assessment several times in my career, and each time there is one signature value at the top of my list: humor. Throughout my work with clients and students, I have learned to incorporate this strength into each engagement thoughtfully and with care. I like to say I use my sense of humor like a scalpel, not a sword. Humor disarms, reframes, and sometimes reveals what asking a direct question cannot. Since it is something I tend to lead with when facilitating interactive discussions, I have become accustomed to examining exactly how best to utilize this natural reflex. Like many lessons that people learn, using my humor appropriately did not simply come to me, it was a lesson learned the hard way. There is one instance that I still cringe about. I cracked a joke about executive coaching being the same as “client therapy.” When I didn’t hear any chuckles, and the room appeared to be frozen, I realized there was an undercurrent in the room to which I had not been privy. Turns out, one of the participants had just come from a deeply emotional coaching session that the other participants knew about, and nobody was ready to laugh about it. While I was able to pivot at that moment and fall on my sword (I realize now it is much easier to fall on a scalpel), it taught me an important lesson. Humor is powerful, but it’s not universal. It needs calibration, context, and consent. Now I treat my sense of humor like seasoning. Some dishes require a lot to enhance the flavor, and sometimes we just need a sprinkle so that it does not mask the substance. Every client is a mirror. They reflect back my habits, my blind spots, and my growth opportunities. While my goal is always to show

A dive into the modern leader’s superpower: vulnerability. For generations, strength in leadership was synonymous with stoicism, decisiveness, and emotional distance. Vulnerability was often labeled a liability, or a crack in the armor. Modern leadership demands something more from those in charge. Today, people expect presence, connection, and authenticity. When a CEO I worked with shared his uncertainty during a major company pivot, his candor didn’t erode confidence. It inspired his team to rally behind him. The team was motivated, not because he had all the answers, but because he trusted them enough to bring them into the unknown with him. Vulnerability is a deep form of strength to be used with care. Not every moment calls for exposure, but great leaders understand that vulnerability has the power to unlock trust, deepen collaboration, and promote unity. Vulnerability is one of the most powerful tools a leader can harness. It’s not about being soft, it’s about being real. When leaders embrace it thoughtfully, the impact is immediate. Here are the ways in which vulnerability works: It Builds Trust Fast Authenticity is magnetic. When leaders share moments of uncertainty or personal sentiments, it sends a signal: “I trust you with this truth.” That gesture often invites reciprocal trust, loyalty, and deeper collaboration within the team. People are inspired by honesty. It Invites Open Dialogue A leader’s openness sets the tone for communication across the board. Vulnerability creates space for real conversations about what’s working, what’s not, and what people truly need. Teams that witness emotional openness are more likely to speak candidly and step into problem-solving with courage. It Signals Self-Awareness & A Growth Mindset When leaders own their mistakes, uncertainties, or limitations, it’s a confident declaration of their willingness to grow. Leaders who lean into vulnerability show they’re not consumed by ego or fear. Instead, they model that evolution is an instrumental part of the job. While vulnerability can be a powerful leadership skill, it’s not foolproof. Without clear intention and boundaries, it risks misinterpretation, or even eroding the trust it’s meant to build. Here are the two main ways in which well-meaning openness can go off course: Using It to Seek Validation Leadership isn’t a popularity contest, and vulnerability shouldn’t be used as a tactic to gain likability. If sharing is driven by a need for external affirmation “Do you still trust me?” “Am I good enough?” it can make team members uncomfortable or uncertain about roles and boundaries. Demonstrating Inconsistent Behavior Words need weight. For example, if a leader shows vulnerability by admitting a need to improve communication, but makes no moves to change their communication style, their team’s trust in them can unravel. Vulnerability without accountability feels performative, and it teaches people not to take you seriously. Not all vulnerability is created equal. To use it effectively as a leader, you need intention, alignment, and follow-through. That’s where strategic vulnerability comes in. Strategic vulnerability is the art of being real with purpose. Try using the following checklist to ensure your openness is productive not performative: The Strategic Vulnerability Checklist • “Does what I’m sharing serve a purpose?” If it doesn’t support growth, clarity, or connection, reconsider. • “Have I earned the trust required for this moment?” Vulnerability lands best when relationships have a solid foundation. • “What do I want the team to take away?” Give your truth a clear takeaway. Otherwise, it risks creating confusion. Strategic vulnerability doesn’t have to be perfect or polished. It is about being intentional with your realness. It’s not “share everything at every moment,” it’s “share something that creates movement.” Vulnerability in its simplest form is a commitment to show up with your full humanity. When practiced with care, it becomes a bridge between leaders and teams that turns uncertainty into profound trust. The strongest leaders aren’t the ones who power through alone. They’re the ones who know when to pause and say, “I don’t have all the answers, but I’m here to figure it out with you.” When used wisely, vulnerability becomes one of the boldest acts of leadership there is.

A look at the questions showing up across organizations and how leaders can thoughtfully address the needs of their teams Lately, I’ve been hearing a lot of the same questions from clients across industries, roles, and team sizes. Something I’ve noticed in my line of work is that repetition is rarely random. When the same themes keep surfacing, I pay attention! These questions reflect what many leaders and teams are navigating right now: complexity, uncertainty, and a genuine desire to show up better for their people and their mission. Below are a few of the most common ones I’ve been hearing and how I’m responding. This question tugs at the heart of modern leadership. It teeters closely to the bigger question related to effective leadership in today’s workplace; how do we sustain high performance without sacrificing well-being? To be honest, the answer to this question can be highly context-dependent. However, in many cases the process starts with taking an active role in preventing burnout rather than waiting for something drastic to occur (such as mental health crises or high employee turnover) to take action. Here is an approach that can lead to success when balancing well-being with high performance: Acknowledge the Reality: Leaders and teams need to know burnout is not a personal failing and is often a structural issue. Recognizing that you are experiencing burnout, and avoiding personal “blame-calling,” is the first step toward meaningful intervention. Micro-Renewals vs. Macro Retreats: A common mistake when addressing burnout is to conduct a grand reset which may have some benefits, but only in the short run. Instead of waiting for a vacation, weekend, or company retreat to reset, employees should be encouraged to embrace small moments of renewal. Examples of micro renewal moments can include taking more unscheduled breaks, engaging in a meditation practice, taking wellness walks throughout the day, or setting healthy boundaries about availability. Model Sustainable Leadership: The research is clear that if leaders push through exhaustion or celebrate working 16-hour days, their teams will mirror that behavior. It is critical for leaders to normalize taking breaks, demonstrate mindful work habits, and promote conversations about realistic workloads. You may have heard the phrase, “change is a constant.” This adage is true in society and is naturally also true in business. Navigating change effectively is one of the most challenging workplace dilemmas that I encounter. One pattern that I have recognized is that successfully managing change typically hinges on framing the change in a way that acknowledges uncertainty while reinforcing confidence in the path forward. The approach that I have seen work most effectively adheres to the following steps: Provide Context: It is normal for employees to be curious about why a change is occurring, and we don’t want that curiosity to turn into paranoia. The first step to establishing comfort with the change is to start by explaining why the change is happening. Uncertainty grows when people feel blindsided, so offering a clear rationale can help ground the conversation. Validate Concerns: It is inevitable that some employees may respond emotionally to an organizational change.  The key is to address these concerns head-on, acknowledging that change can be challenging and reassuring them that their concerns are heard. Involve the Team: The magic of agency and inclusion shall not be underestimated. Inviting teammates into the change-making process can go a long way to ensuring that major shifts feel less disruptive and can even be welcomed. Inviting teammates into the process can come in the form of hosting feedback sessions, organizing task forces, or simply including them in larger, forward-looking conversations. Aligning organizational values with daily business behaviors is a common predicament for companies who strive for organizational integrity. What businesses often notice is that there is a disconnect between their aspiration and their execution. Rather than assuming the company’s espoused values and enacted values will unite organically, here is a strategy that may resonate: Make Values Actionable: It is important to ask leaders a million-dollar question-what does this value look like in practice? For example, if a company values “innovation,” how are they ensuring that they create psychological safety which will enable experimentation? If a company values “inclusion,” how are they ensuring that all voices are heard? It is critical to thoughtfully define which behaviors will reinforce company values in daily work. Integrate Values into Systems: One of the first steps of starting a business involves establishing the values and the mission of the company. A simple way to ensure these ideas are not just lip service is by double-checking that company principles are incorporated into the daily business rhythms of the company such as hiring, performance reviews, and employee recognition procedures. Model From the Top: I have said this before, and I can surmise that it will come up again. If leaders articulate values but are not demonstrating them consistently, employees will see them as empty slogans. The behavior of company leaders must reinforce the values they expect from their teams. Something to remember is that these common questions are not signs of dysfunction. They are signs that people care! These questions show that leaders are trying to get it right, even when there’s no perfect playbook. If you’re asking questions like these too, you’re not alone. And the good news? These challenges are solvable with clarity, intention, and a willingness to listen.